Diana's (Big) Golden Book

-A Christmas Story-
Written by Diana Denney

Once upon an time there was a girl. Her name was Diana. And for Christmas she wanted (dearly) a cell phone. All her friends walked around with their BIG FANCY cell phones. They were mocking her.

The reason she didn't have a phone was her evil parents (the Stevester and the Teresanator) were very anit-celluar. They also hated unlimited talk and text. There were tragic times Diana was living in.

Diana received a letter...

Dear Diana,
I bring sad news. If you do not receive a celluar phone for Christmas, all Christmas spirit will be lost. Give the Teresanator and the Stevester thos puppy dog eyes and the whole shingding.
                                                              Sincerely,
                                                              The AT&T Elves

"And the whole shingding," thought Diana.

She made figgy pudding. The Teresanator's personal favorite.

She sliced the roste beef. The Stevester's least favorite thing to do.

She decked the halls with bows of holly.

And sang Falalalalalala.

On Christmas morning she walked down stairs shakily. And under the tree was...a cellular phone with a text:

                              U savd X-mas! :)
                               <3 The AT&T Elves

Diana huged her parents, now Teresa and Steve.

Note to my readers: Santa WILL NOT be delivering a cell phone to my ten year old daughter. Christmas spirit is in serious jeopardy. Also, I really hate figgy pudding.